Back in the day I’d log on to my blog and write about all the things. Writing, family, diet struggles, books I loved, God, TV, tales from the classroom and the politics of education. Every little thing.
The blog was my way to share little bits of life with friends.
Back in the day before Facebook and twitter and the constant bombardment of my News App.
I love the ease of the blog, the breathing space of the blog, the focus of the blog.
When I’m here I don’t worry about notifications or nuclear war. I just write. I just share.
Sometimes I write to make readers laugh. Other times I share to get through a moment. Often I post to ask advice.
I like that about the blog.
It’s my little place in the vast space of online infinity.
What I’m Loving: The Daily Calm, Dumplin‘, coffee, my giant down comforter, my Dallas Stars gloves, Cali’flour pizza crust
What I’m Writing: blog posts and So Much For Happily Ever After.
I loved school from the start even though it didn’t always love me.
In Bald Knob at 5, I think, I got in trouble for singing off key on purpose. It’s the only thing I remember about being in school there except the time I accidentally stayed on the bus and was scared I’d never get home.
In first grade in Minnesota I couldn’t read even though everyone else in my class could. But I didn’t feel like a failure. I felt special because I got to sit at a little cubicle desk and use a film strip about dinosaurs to help me learn phonics. I never doubted I’d get to the circles, and I was determined to get to blue.
When we moved to Texas I liked learning, and I even got over the time my teacher screeched and threw my paper in the trash because I’d written “in the margin.” She didn’t define margin. I thought she meant the side with the holes. It seemed silly to me to lose all that great space on the side without holes.
The worst I felt was because my handwriting never quite measured up to that of the girls who stood at the board and showed off their penmanship with pretty curlicues and hearts to dot the perfect i. But I loved school.
I loved school until junior high when a math teacher crushed my world every single day by telling me it was dumb that I couldn’t do simple algebra.
But in high school a new math teacher helped me see the teacher was the one with the problem not me.
Monday I go back to school for the second semester of my 25th year teaching. During meditation today my brain kept drifting to everything that needs to be done and things I want to address and how excited I am to see the kids but how sad I’ll be to lose this time. That’s what this break has given me more than anything. Time to breathe, to play, to reflect, to just be.
I’ll miss this break. But I still love school.
What I’m loving right now: The Daily Calm meditation, The Young and the Restless, my down comforter, the Dallas Stars, Tyler Seguin’s answers on the Tyler Seguin show on the Ticket.
What I’m writing: So Much For Happily Ever After. (Hit 48k last night at group!)
I did less this break than I have in years. I don’t regret that. I needed to breathe. To just be for a bit. So I did, and I feel better right now than I have in months. It’s funny how I was dragging all this negativity around with me all semester and how doing that led to something heavy building inside me. Whatever that was manifested itself in sickness that stayed with me until the bitter end of December. It’s funny how taking the time to breathe actually made me physically able to really breathe.
I’ve always believed in mind over matter, that a positive attitude creates positivity, in the laws of attraction, in letting go and letting God. But believing and acting on those beliefs are two different things.
I’m sure I’m not alone in that.
I’m going to dedicate much of my blog time to reinforcing my life affirmations.
Thankfulness is one of the keys. I’m incredibly thankful for so many people who have been in my life. Without others I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I’m thankful for my students over the years who gave so much of their time and talent to the Rider media program. I’m thankful for family members and for my small group. I’m thankful for my old writing group that challenged me and taught me and inspired me, and I’m thankful for my new writing group…even though it’s so far away. I’m thankful for my daughter who has always shared her life with me and for my incredible husband who is my best friend and my love.
I’m thankful for BBC and their incredible mysteries and Gilmore Girls and Netflix. I know that seems silly, but my break of nothingness translated to time spent with Netflix, George Gently, Phryne Fisher and the Gilmores.
I’m thankful for Zumba. I forget how much I like it, and then I get started again and it makes me so happy…two days and counting this time.
I could go on, but I think I’ll save the rest for later. 🙂
Such a little word
That means so much
And so little
At the same time
A word full and empty
Like all words but not
Like a word for others
But in reality
It’s a word for you.
So today I was complaining about never having time to write. Problem: I was complaining on one of the Internet boards I mess around on. By the time I was done playing around online 30 minutes had gone by and the only thing I’d written was a gripe about book prices, a gripe about no time to write, and a couple of my favorite TV show names.
Definitely not good.
It made me realize how important balancing time to write is. I have to do it. And there’s plenty of time to schedule it in. But I’ve got to make the choice to 1.) TURN OFF THE TV 2.) Get off the Internet 3.) Put away the great books I’m reading. Those three things are killing me where writing time’s concerned.
I’m never going to be one of those writers who doesn’t read because I’m totally addicted to reading. But I don’t have to read as much as I’m reading. And I can use my good books as incentive to write some of my own.
UIL meets this weekend. Off on another trip with teenagers. Hope we win. I ought to find some time to write this weekend for sure.
Whoa. It seems like only yesterday I was sitting in my big chair posting away about lessons I’d learned on my weight loss journey. Somehow I lost a few yesterdays in between.
This week’s been a killer. Late nights at school, working the state mandated test, church. It’s been a whirlwind. But I haven’t been exhausted, just busy.
then yesterday I finally had some time and I reuined it by taking a critique of the yearbook I advise personally. God, when I get published I am so not reading reviews. I can only imagine what I’d do. What I did yesterday was write an open letter to judges everywhere and post it to an educators loop I’m on. A loop with hundreds of subscribers. One of whom was probably the judge that hurt my feelings. Today I’ve gotten a TON of bravo mails. I’m sure someone somewhere will eventually write a response I won’t be so happy with. 🙂
But that’s okay. I don’t figure the person who wrote the critique meant it personaly, but they might have. They called the typography of the book “dated.” That’s stretching a little in my opinion. Especially since we copied our fonts from InStyle magazine. Oh well. It dsoesn’t matter. The critique actually freed me from the silliness of competitive yearbook. It doesn’t matter. It means nothing. It’s nice when they sing your praises and it sucks when they don’t. I’d just never dealt with the it sucks part before.
On the bright side, we’re down to the last very few pages of the yearbook. Thank you Lord it’s almost over. We’re down to the Index and one spread that needs football coach cooperation. I just don’t think the football coaches get that although they don’t care about accolades and a photo in the yearbook, their kids do. (More than that, their mama’s do!) I’m working on problem solving that issue for future years.
Tonight I get to meet with my critique group. Thank God! I need them. Of course, I have NOTHING NEW. I read a great article in my RWR today. Meg Cabot said she gets writer’s block when something’s wrong with her story. I think that’s where I am. I’m going to work on that with my CPs. I need their help!
Speaking of needing help. Sometimes I think parents need help. We have an incredible teacher at our school. He’s tough as nails but wonderful for freshmen students. He teaches kids how to study and kids who make it thorugh his class say they learned more about how to make good grades from him than any other teacher ever. He teaches Bio. It’s not an easy subject to teach when you live on the buckle of the Bible Belt. Anyway, a parent has set up a website to destory this man’s career. It’s complete with how to write complaint letters and e-mail addresses to send them to.
I’m beyond offended by the whole mess. As a teacher, I can’t even imagine. My daughter dropped this teacher’s class because she wasn’t willing to do the level of work necessary. But even she says the website it atrocious. I think it’s probably libelous. Hopefully by next week it’ll be gone.
Posted in adviser, thoughts, writing, yearbook
Tagged adviser, critque group, deadlines, judges, publications, RRRW, stress, teaching, time, writing
I saw a quote the other day that made me stop and think. It said we have the same 24 hours as Helen Keller, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin and a number of other famous people.
For a few minutes I was blown away. WOW! These people, some with huge deficiencies, found a way to change the world! And here I am complaining about a tough year. Whoa.
Then I saw a response that made me laugh.
A woman wrote: Isn’t it interesting that NONE of the people on the list are mothers?!
Motherhood does add an interesting dynamic to the world of a will-be-published-one-day-but-currently- multi-rejected romance writer 🙂 My daughter’s practically grown up watching me write. She knows when the big floppy Tyvek envelopes come in from NYC that Mom might need a hug, some chocolate and a few minutes alone. A teenager, she still pats me on the back when the rejections come in and reminds me I have “that new story I’m working on.” She always talks about WHEN I get published. She’s even learned when she’s angry she can target my writing and get a rise out of me.
That quote was right. We do all have the same amount of time. And once it’s gone, it can’t come back. It’s something I need to think about on a regular basis.
Just like I think about a new study that showed 1 in 3 high school students think the First Amendment gives too many freedoms, YIKES! Zero tolerance has helped us raise a group of children who have no problem being dictated to. UGH!
It’s a good thing I’ve got twenty years left to teach kids how important those rights are.
Between that, motherhood, being a wife and writing, my life is pretty much full. I’m sure I’ll still wish for a 30-hour day every once in a while, but for now, I’ll have to make the most out of the 24 hours I’ve been given.
I hate X-Files. 😦
Actually I LOVE X-FIles. And Lost and Alias and Desperate Housewives and Law and Order and Buffy. AND SURVIVOR!
The other day someone on e-Harlequin talked about how she limits her TV consumption to one hour a day. I didn’t post because I have no idea how much TV I watch a day. But I do know I watched an HOUR of it between midnight and 1 am. Last night’s X-Files was one I’d seen a million times before, but I still stayed up watching it even though I knew I HAD to get up this morning and go to work.
The episode was the genie in a bottle story. It made me think. What would I do with three wishes.
After watching the show I decided I wouldn’t want the wishes.
Those writers were so incredible. They take absolutely unbelievable stuff and make it seem real. I think it’s because Mulder and Scully are so real. They’re people we know.
I really miss that show.
Posted in thoughts, TV
Tagged time, tv, X-Files