Tag Archives: New Year

Not Alone

As I read through posts of friends and acquaintances and people in twitter I’m astounded by the number of people who talk about letting go of anxiety and stress and embracing self-acceptance.

Wow.

So often through the struggles of the last year I felt alone, and quite frankly stupid for my feelings because I’m 49 and I kept telling myself it was nuts to be going through this now.

Today makes me feel so much better.

There’s no right or wrong time for how I feel. I feel how I do when I do. The end.

But I also see that fighting the feelings and letting them get in my head and lead to negative self-talk is something I can work on fixing.

As they said in the Daily Calm today: “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

Here’s to new endings and accepting me for me in whatever state I’m in.

Happy New Year!

What I’m reading: Atomic Habits (Audible)

What I’m loving: Daily Calm ❤️❤️❤️ and DoTERRA On Guard mouthwash and #LCHF

What I’m writing: So Much for Happily Ever After

Goodbye 2018

…You weren’t all bad, but man oh man did you stink.

Fortunately the sucky parts of life lead to big lessons. For me the lessons were mighty.

1. The outside chaos becomes inside chaos if I let it. I’m addicted to news and have been my entire adult life. The outside chaos of the Trump administration led to a lot of real emotional damage in my heart and mind. The hate and human rights atrocities compound day after day.

At the state level the Texas government is set to destroy public education. Texas is not alone, but Texas is where I live so Texas is my constant and it just floors me to see educators who insist on voting for these awful people because they’ve been bamboozled by culture war spewing hate mongerers.

Solution: limit the news input and work on changing things instead of letting things simmer. Give to candidates and causes, block walk, talk to people and help where I can.

2. Grief needs time and space and rushing through it to get back to “normal” will reach out and smack me in the face.

Solution: own my emotions, embrace them, walk in them and trust that God will get me through. Don’t “fake it till I make it” because that just leads to a breakdown.

3. Goals aren’t key. Goals end when I reach them and I switch back to what came before. (See NaNoWriMo, weight, starting over…the list is never ending).

4. Embrace the good: I have a new granddaughter 😍, Brian and I get to see each other more over break, my students rock, I enjoy my job, the list here is also never ending and I need to give thanks daily.

5. Meditation matters: This is new for me. I mean I’ve meditated before but not consistently. The Calm app is making this easy and it makes an incredible difference.

6. Affirmations make a difference and negative self-talk destroys. It’s easy to fall into negative self-talk, at least it is for me. I have to make a conscious effort to change that and I am doing so.

7. Be happy with me where I am even though I want to be better. This one is huge and something I am working on daily. I like me. I like my life. I like what I have to give to the world.

I’m glad to let 2018 go and I’m looking forward to 2019.

Currently reading: Atomic Habits

Currently Writing: (working title) So Much For Happily Ever After

Currently loving: DoTERRA On Guard mouthwash, cauliflower pizza crust, Dark Shadows TV show on Amazon Prime and Within Temptation’s Resist.

A Happy New Year, THANK GOD!

NYE 2015I love new years. Each one makes me sigh in relief. Even if the year before was great, the clean slate of a new year shines like my classroom’s waxed floor in August before my classes stars.

This last year was NOT great. It should’ve been. I saw plenty of personal successes. But it wasn’t. I saw this image on Pinterest yesterday. It seems appropriate for what was 2014.

lost

I’m glad the minute that was 2014 is over now. It’s easy to find yourself at the end of a two-week break. I look forward to continuing that journey. And if I lose myself, I hope to do it in a way that is fun and fulfilling instead of a way that leaves me sick and tired and demoralized and up two sizes.

Here’s the thing. No person or entity or schedule or dashed expectation can make me lose myself. I know that. In the moment, though, it’s easy to forget that. It’s easy to place blame and waste tears and sink into the morass of dejection and powerlessness. But the deal is I’m only powerless if I cede my power. I did that in ’14. That’s over now. 🙂

I’m looking forward to 2015 and all it’s waxed floor shininess. I plan on moving the furniture of my life and expectations around a bit and scuffing the floor of this year. I’m going to be a grandma–sometime in the next month–and I’m getting rid of these two sizes I’ve gained and I’m going to write more Liz Lee romances (those are the steamy ones…proceed with caution). More than anything, I’m going to surround myself with positivity. That doesn’t mean I’ll accept the awful in education. I’ll still fight for fixes there. That doesn’t mean I’ll be okay with hate and misogyny and inequality. I’ll still post stories that expose those behaviors. It does mean I won’t let those things take away my joy.

I’m looking forward to 2015!

The Digital Revolution

New year, new semester, fresh starts, blank slates.
I love new semesters and I can’t wait to see what this one has in store.
Advising publications has changed significantly over the last 15 years. The digital revolution has made everything easier, but the sheer amount of information makes it more difficult, too.
Kids are far more comfortable IM’ing, chatting, texting than they are talking. Interview electronically and you get great quotes. But you lose the body language, the setting, the intensity.
You also lose a bit of the reality. Because people will write things in an e-mail or in a chat they’d never say in real life.
I wonder where we’re headed with communication. Five years ago I would’ve never imagined students telling me they’d rather text than talk on the phone. This year most of my kids told me that was the case.
And it’s contagious, I guess. The other day I was trying to text on my old non-backlit phone while DH and I were running errands, and I couldn’t see the text. Instead of calling the friends I was trying to reach, I closed the phone and decided I’d try later.
I never tried. No telling what I missed out on. All because I didn’t want to talk.
When I first started teaching, we’d read the book 1984 and my kids would say that would never happen. These days we worry about WHEN it will happen.
I love the movie Wall-E. But it’s disturbing that the whole time I watched it, I wondered if that’s where we’re headed.
I hope not.
I love words. Explicate is my favorite word because of the way it feels to say it. That just doesn’t work in text speak.
I love the digital revolution, but I hope it doesn’t destroy us.

One of the kids in the newsroom on her iPhone. You can't see it because she wasn't supposed to be doing it, but I know. I never saw her talk on the phone. Not once in the whole time I had her in class, but I saw her text and play games all the time.

First Weeks

For twelve years I’ve looked forward to the new school year with this mixed anticipation, dread. This year, I can’t wait. My kids are great. My room is pretty. I’m teaching my beginning class in a different room than the staff room so I won’t have the phone ringing like crazy or the million and four other distractions that take place in the life of the publications adviser.
It’s exciting!
New years are awesome. They’re clean slates of sorts. I can’t wait.

work and other stuff :-)

My room is put together. Of course only three of my computers are showing valid IP addresses and that has to be fixed before Friday–hopefully it’s as easy as turning the network drops on. That’s the way it always goes. Since we work on the computers from day one, that’s a potential disaster in the making, but my district’s tech team is fabulous. Hopefully they’ll get it taken care of.

I got messages from the RJ contest. So cool!!!!!