Tag Archives: mental health

I’m Tired

Today Jared Kushner took the stage in the press conference. I guess he’s leading the charge against Coronavirus now. He said the national stockpile of med supplies was Ours not the states’. I’m not sure what he means. We’re the United States. Hopefully when I look back on this post it will be with a sense of relief that these people didn’t destroy us.

I had a book party today. I wasn’t going to do it. I hate Facebook parties! But I was sitting here staying home and I thought it would be a good way to take my mind off things.

School is hard. Harder than I ever imagined. I read a post today that resonated. We’re not working from home. We’re working at home in a global crisis. That’s a good way to look at things.

I’m not watching much news. The nightly news and Brian Williams. Not all of that but BW’s voice brings me comfort. I don’t know why. Maybe because he took over for Tom Brokaw and I’ve watched NBC my entire adult life. I love Lester too. But I just can’t watch the news all the time right now. It’s too sad.

I hope I can sleep tonight. I usually don’t sleep much until I’m totally exhausted. It’s not healthy, but it’s where I am.

Prayers for my mental health and this annoying cough I can’t shake.

Prayers for my daughter and grands in Ohio.

Prayers for my mom and dad. Mom thinks she broke her hip standing up. She has osteoporosis. I told her she can’t go to a hospital right now. She already went last week so…

Prayers for my extended family.

Prayers for my sweet students as they work to finish the yearbook from home at the same time they’re facing all this.

Prayers for our nation, our state and my two hometowns: Wichita Falls and Fort Worth.

Prayers for my colleagues and my bosses. This is all so stressful.

Prayers are what we’ve got. They’re all we’ve got.

A Weird I’m Thankful

I’ve always had worst case scenario brain. I’ve turned the possible bad outcomes of a situation over and over in my brain, allowing those thoughts to paralyze me. My mistakes play over in my mind again and again while I try to think of should haves and could haves.

Once I was on my way to a wedding and stopped in the middle of the trip, turned around and went back home where I suffered through the guilt of not going. But I couldn’t. My brain took over and stopped me cold. I was shaking from the inside just thinking about walking into the celebration filled with people.

Most of the time I can fake it. Force myself forward. Power through. But when I can’t, I really can’t.

I thought all that was normal, just part of me. I’ve said I’m a shy extrovert to explain it, even though that didn’t feel quite right.

It wasn’t until my daughter started posting regularly about her battles with depression and anxiety that I learned nothing about that is normal.

I’m thankful today as I visit with my daughter and her family that she is so open about the challenges she’s faced. I know it’s helped me, and I bet it’s helped others as well.