Tag Archives: life

Downtown

We looked at a loft today. A loft connected to the train station.

We love the train. We love downtown. But would we love living there.

We’re not going to decide today.

We’re a month from normal life. 4 weeks. No way is now a time to make that kind of big decision.

But…

One day. Maybe.

I think we’d like it.

Our first Bass Hall Broadway show of the season

What I’m Loving: Fort Worth, the TRE, Bass Hall, Sundance Square, Quest Snickerdoodle cookies, the Daily Calm

What I’m Writing: So Much For Happily Ever After

I Want Him to Stay

I want him to stay.

But I know he can’t.

I don’t even know why it’s a big deal.

I’m working all day. Then it’s group on Tuesday.

I go home and write. Sometimes. If he’s not there.

If he’s here, I go home and talk and laugh and watch TV and gripe and complain about who does the dishes and we debate my Young and the Restless obsession and why I should watch something different and…all the little things in life. And then I write. Sometimes.

And I lay in bed next to him listening to him breathing, inhaling his scent, luxuriating in his nearness. If he’s here.

And when he’s not I sprawl out over the entire surface and pull his pillows to me and wish the neighbors would stop talking even though it’s not that bad with ocean waves playing.

People do this. They live in separate spaces, far more than we have. I feel almost guilty for what I wish, what I want.

We’re almost there where he’ll be here all the time. We’re almost there.

Great Week

I loved this week so much. A big part of that was two Dallas Stars games, but it was more than that.

The Calm app is so helpful. I can’t wait to see the positive influence on my attitude during a work week.

Moving more, breathing deeper, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of DH splitting time between here and Wichita Falls. All of that added up to making a good week.

I’ve lost 11 pounds since Thanksgiving. LCHF works when you love it instead of playing at it. That also made a good week.

We took the train to the second Stars game this week, and I LOVE the train. That made for a good week.

I wrote more and read more and played more. It was the perfect way to spend the second week of winter break.

Looking forward to Monday!

What I’m Loving: The TRE from Fort Worth to AAC, Sundance Square, the Dallas Stars, Sweatin’ to the Oldies, LCHF

What I’m writing: So Much For Happily Ever After

Maybe Me

Empty Nester.

Middle Aged.

Gigi.

Almost 50.

Remember when….

There’s this post that makes the rounds about being 50 and finally knowing what and who you are. About the strength and wisdom that comes with age.

I don’t feel it. I’m smack dab in the middle of my 49th year, and there are times I feel as lost as I was at 25.

Time passes.

The apartment is…well, just is. Not special. Not home. An after-effect of change.

That’s a weird place to be, a psychological shift of seismic proportions I never expected.

Time is fleeting yet infinite. There are no practices, games, lessons, meetings with DD. There’s work and there’s the apartment. I should have so much time to find me. I would have killed for this time to go to the gym, write, learn to cook, read a book, whatever in those early days. Now the time is here, and I watch the news, sports and ABC dramas then take a magnesium and go to bed where I sleep or think about should haves, could haves, would haves. Weird.

That’s it. I’m feeling weird these days. A little lost, a little found. A wanderer, I guess, looking for me.

Weird. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s perfectly normal and weird is not looking.

Maybe it’s menopause. Maybe this entire post is one existential menopausal reflection. Or is it the opposite of existential?

It is what it is.

I am what I am.

49 is an odd place to be. At least now, in this moment.

The Week It Happened

Moi @ 47. 48 around the corner.


It took almost an entire semester, but when we returned from break I felt like me in the classroom.

How weird.

I would have never guessed I would have a mini identity crisis as an adviser after all these years, but setting matters. (The writer in me should have known that.)

I still have so much to learn about teaching, about journalism, about life in general.

At almost 50 it’s easy to just go through life’s motions instead of really living. I don’t want to do that. I want to be like Auntie Mame minus the Great Depression and those boots.ūüėä

Live, Live, Live!

The World Turns…

When I started this blog, I didn’t have Facebook or twitter or Pinterest. My daughter was in junior high. I’d lost a lot of weight on WW (and then gained and lost and gained and lost…). It was super bowl time and I talked about strawberries a lot. I wrote a lot. I read a lot. I posted crazy photos. I dreamed about traveling. I was a cat mom and never thought about owning a dog. I ate carbs all the time (thus the weight gain and loss, gain and loss). My grandparents were alive and I went to stay with them every once in a while, usually with my daughter. My grandma sang all the time. She and her best friend my Aunt Helen let me take their photo at family reunion, I belonged to a yahoo group called catarom and spent a god-awful amount of time reading emails. I hadn’t ever heard of education reform or the WFISD Leadership Cohort.

It’s crazy how much has changed.

Those changes are why I love this blog. It’s so amazing to walk back through life and see how I’ve grown. It’s also awesome to connect with readers and writers and just say hey.

Today I wrote 7k words. I still write a lot.

I’m up to chapter 7 in a Karen Templeton book. I still read a lot.

I deleted twenty emails and kept about 50 I need to read. I might get to 10 of them. I rarely read email now.

I checked in on facebook and twitter for what was supposed to be a second but that turned into an hour. Facebook and twitter consume time if I let them.

I was grumpy about some things and then a friend posted asking for prayers for a family member and it was like God smacked me with some perspective. I still learn a lot.

Happy reading and writing.

Hopefully I finish a book draft tomorrow before lesson plans.

 

THANKFUL #mywana

The British Museum always makes me think of Harrison Ford. Another thing to be thankful for.

The British Museum always makes me think of Harrison Ford. Another thing to be thankful for.

Things I’m excited about September edition: Survivor, cooler temperatures, the Colonial Marriage Ministry Sacred Marriage class, teaching InDesign to kids after school, watching the freshmen become Raiders, first amendment memorization, watching new editors learn to make lists, revising Sharlene book 3, more dominoes with Mom and Dad, kisses, decorating the living room of the new house, watching DD transform from a kid into a woman ready to take on the world, seeing Pam B on Wednesdays if only for a minute, remembering the freedom of an empty nest during deadlines but also remembering the newsroom is not life, orange, learning new low carb recipes that rock, CS6, gearing up for NaNo, high school football, hockey, halftime shows. Funny, when I started this, I thought the list would be small enough for a Facebook status update. Goal this year: start every day thankful.

For Those Considering a Career in #Education

Me last year talking to my editor from my desk.

Me last year talking to my editor from my desk.

In the last two weeks I’ve taught classes with former students at workshops, gone out for margaritas with a former student and talked about everything from higher ed and linguistics to which hockey players to follow on twitter, chatted with a former student about her soon to be released by Entangled Publishing novel and finally tonight, laughed at the photos two former editors posted on Facebook for #tbt.

If you’re thinking about going into education know this: you’ll never be paid what you’re worth, you’ll always be the “bad guy” politicians can point to as wanting too much when all you want is job security and a decent paycheck, you’ll spend money on your classroom and the kids and you’ll never get that money back. You’ll work crazy ridiculous hours and drive your non-teacher friends nuts when you start talking about “education reform” and NCLB. You’ll go to the grocery store and see kids slinking away hoping to God you don’t see them AND kids who run up to you, give you a hug and introduce you to their grandmother who’s visiting as “My favorite teacher.”

You’ll be cussed at, laughed at, ignored and loved. You’ll attend trainings that don’t seem to serve a purpose during time you could be setting up your classroom. You’ll learn a million different acronyms for the Next Best Thing in education and those acronyms will change often.

You’ll meet amazing people dedicated to changing the world and then watch them thrive…or burn out…or decide it’s just not worth it to teach. You’ll have friends join admin…even DOWNTOWN admin, and then you’ll wonder if they’re still “friends” or if they’ve crossed over to the Dark Side. If you stick around long enough, you’ll learn it takes a village and the Dark Side is a myth…usually.

You’ll have classes without enough desks, without enough books, without enough super secret codes to unlock the sparkly new technology you’re provided. You’ll run into proxies that render said technology useless on a regular basis even though you used the website the week before to teach your classes.

You’ll spend hours on snazzy lessons with everything from rock songs to movie clips to pictures of places you’ve visited while on the quest to become a better teacher…AND someone in your class will try to sleep anyway.

You’ll be told you only work 9 months a year so quit your dang complaining…all the time. You’ll hear “We don’t need to pay teachers all this money. We can do school on the computers. Let the kids learn it all online.”

You’ll wake up some mornings feeling like a rockstar and go to bed feeling like a rock.

You’ll need to invest in super-dee-duper vitamins because schools are germ factories.

You’ll cry with your kids who lose boyfriends, parents, babies. You’ll want to smack them when you see their names in the paper on crime beats. You’ll want to call them up and say congrats when you see they’ve finished in the top of their class at UT. You’ll ask them if they’re sure they want to teach when they tell you they’ve decided to pursue a degree in education. And you’ll feel like crying again when they say they want to be just like you.

So think long and hard before you go into education. Starbucks gives full benefits, including a matching 401k for 20 hours a week. There are easier paychecks.

BUT nothing beats waking up in the morning excited to go to work. Nothing beats being a teacher when you love it.

Dead Girl Walking

Countdown

I’ve loved this year at school, but this break has been amazing. I’ve slept in, cleaned closets, found photos that made me laugh (on my Facebook if you want to see). I’ve spent time with family, lost Phase 10, eaten too much low carb food and created a “lowish” carb almond butter mousse to die for that’s now reserved for holidays only (recipe at end of post). I’ve spent hours with Emmie on my lap, survived another blizzard, and I’ve shared a million and twelve funny memes on Facebook, the best of which remains Grumpy Cat Star Wars. I’ve written (not enough) and read and read and read. I caught up to the end of the GRR Martin Game of Thrones series (SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!), I finished Peggy Browning’s Fifty Odd book (SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!), read Ally Carter’s Uncommon Criminals (Sooooooooooo Good!!!!!!!) and started the latest Dresden, which so far is….Soooooo good!!!

See a theme? That’s been this break. Sooooo Good.

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Recipe for Deadly “Lowish Carb” Almond Mousse

1.5 cups heavy whipping cream, splenda (I used four packets), a little vanilla: Whip it up

In a separate bowl combine 1 box cream cheese, 1/4 C almond butter (or more), sugar free chocolate syrup..just a little–maybe 2 TBSP, half that amount of sugar free carmel syrup.

TASTE that mix and see if it’s yummy. If it needs a little more sweet, add some¬†splenda, one packet at a time. It doesn’t need to be super sweet because it’s rich, rich, rich.

 

Once it’s perfect, fold in the whipping cream you’ve already whipped up.

Top with dollop of whipped cream and a tiny bit of sugar free chocolate syrup.

OMG soooooooo good and sooooooooo bad.

Emmie Afghan

Even the Acknowledgments Made Me Laugh

by Peggy Browning

by Peggy Browning

I’m a follower of Peggy Browning’s Fifty Odd blog, so buying the book was an easy decision. I knew I’d laugh. I knew Browning would make me think and make me thankful for what I have. I had no idea I’d experience the full spectrum of emotions as I read. I took my time with the book, savoring each chapter like a weekly treat. It’s a collection of columns much like Sharon Randall writes, so Fifty Odd lends itself to leisurely reading; however, the deeper I got into the book, the more I found myself wanting to know more. Those weekly treats weren’t enough. I ended up reading the last half of the book in two days. Browning shares so many truths in this story. From love to loss to body image to motherhood to grandmotherhood to bucket lists, Browning delivers vignettes that touch the heart. It’s definitely a collection I’ll return to again and again. When you get to the end of the book, don’t forget to read the acknowledgments. Don’t read them first! Get through the book so you understand. When you close the book you’ll smile to yourself and you’ll cheer for Browning who chose the road less traveled.

I highly recommend this book, especially for women. In fact, I think I’ll buy another few copies for gifts.

Fifty Odd: Viewing Life After 50 Through Rose-Colored Bifocals by Peggy Browning available on Amazon.