I love new years. Each one makes me sigh in relief. Even if the year before was great, the clean slate of a new year shines like my classroom’s waxed floor in August before my classes stars.
This last year was NOT great. It should’ve been. I saw plenty of personal successes. But it wasn’t. I saw this image on Pinterest yesterday. It seems appropriate for what was 2014.
I’m glad the minute that was 2014 is over now. It’s easy to find yourself at the end of a two-week break. I look forward to continuing that journey. And if I lose myself, I hope to do it in a way that is fun and fulfilling instead of a way that leaves me sick and tired and demoralized and up two sizes.
Here’s the thing. No person or entity or schedule or dashed expectation can make me lose myself. I know that. In the moment, though, it’s easy to forget that. It’s easy to place blame and waste tears and sink into the morass of dejection and powerlessness. But the deal is I’m only powerless if I cede my power. I did that in ’14. That’s over now. 🙂
I’m looking forward to 2015 and all it’s waxed floor shininess. I plan on moving the furniture of my life and expectations around a bit and scuffing the floor of this year. I’m going to be a grandma–sometime in the next month–and I’m getting rid of these two sizes I’ve gained and I’m going to write more Liz Lee romances (those are the steamy ones…proceed with caution). More than anything, I’m going to surround myself with positivity. That doesn’t mean I’ll accept the awful in education. I’ll still fight for fixes there. That doesn’t mean I’ll be okay with hate and misogyny and inequality. I’ll still post stories that expose those behaviors. It does mean I won’t let those things take away my joy.
I’m looking forward to 2015!
Posted in diet, education, fitness, thoughts
Tagged diet, education, exercise, New Year, politics, resolutions, teaching, writing
When I started this blog, I didn’t have Facebook or twitter or Pinterest. My daughter was in junior high. I’d lost a lot of weight on WW (and then gained and lost and gained and lost…). It was super bowl time and I talked about strawberries a lot. I wrote a lot. I read a lot. I posted crazy photos. I dreamed about traveling. I was a cat mom and never thought about owning a dog. I ate carbs all the time (thus the weight gain and loss, gain and loss). My grandparents were alive and I went to stay with them every once in a while, usually with my daughter. My grandma sang all the time. She and her best friend my Aunt Helen let me take their photo at family reunion, I belonged to a yahoo group called catarom and spent a god-awful amount of time reading emails. I hadn’t ever heard of education reform or the WFISD Leadership Cohort.
It’s crazy how much has changed.
Those changes are why I love this blog. It’s so amazing to walk back through life and see how I’ve grown. It’s also awesome to connect with readers and writers and just say hey.
Today I wrote 7k words. I still write a lot.
I’m up to chapter 7 in a Karen Templeton book. I still read a lot.
I deleted twenty emails and kept about 50 I need to read. I might get to 10 of them. I rarely read email now.
I checked in on facebook and twitter for what was supposed to be a second but that turned into an hour. Facebook and twitter consume time if I let them.
I was grumpy about some things and then a friend posted asking for prayers for a family member and it was like God smacked me with some perspective. I still learn a lot.
Happy reading and writing.
Hopefully I finish a book draft tomorrow before lesson plans.
Posted in thoughts
Tagged #amwriting, #mywana, 2005, blog, blogging, changes, DD, diet, exercise, Family, lessons, life, memories
First, Happy Independence Day. A few weeks ago friends started asking how much weight I’d lost on Atkins. I didn’t really know. I’ve lost a couple sizes, feel better, look better, enjoy the tastes of the food I eat and don’t miss sugar except every once in a great while like when we go to small group and Teresa (one of the amazing cooks in the group) makes cake balls. 🙂
I haven’t kept up with the actual number on the scale as much because when I started Atkins, I thought the weight would fall off fast, but that hasn’t been the case at all. In fact, this has been about the same as Weight Watchers. The only difference is I don’t crave food and I’m never hungry. Or if I am hungry I increase my protein intake and problem solved.
A couple weeks ago I checked my weight and saw I’d hit the 40 pounds lost mark. I love that. 🙂
Recently someone asked me if I’ll ever be able to eat sugar again. I think the answer is no. I know trainers say everything is fine in moderation. But for me sugar and flour are like tequila and vodka for alcoholics. I eat little and the next thing I know I’ve gained 100 pounds. Of course, it’s easy to say this when I’ve only been on Atkins for four months.
I also write inspirational romance and young adult novels as Elizabeth Lee. Current Book: Dead Girl Walking by Elizabeth Lee (YA). Coming soon: Letting Go by Mary Beth Lee (Inspi. Romance).
Tae Bo is evil. Billy whatever his name is the devil. He keeps smiling and saying how easy this is, how great you’re doing. And all the while I’m just trying to figure out how to move my feet, hips, hands like that all at the same time. The 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 girl in the background who looks like she could kick Billy’s butt is annoyingly perfect too. And the worst part, the easy stuff. Why? Because the next morning, you can’t move. Ouch.
Posted in diet
Tagged diet, exercise
Okay. So the month is gone and I’ve written a ton. Yay.
Then today I look at my calendar and I realize…I’ve been to the Y exactly 9 times the entire month of June.
Hello. My name is Mary Beth and I suffer from obsessive compulsive behavior. Why else would I exercise like crazy, eat right and cruise through 50 pounds and nine months just fine but without writing much at all….and then boom, start writing a ton and forget all about the body? It’s crazy. Insane.
I’m a sick person.
July is going to be different. I’m going to be obsessive compulsive about everything in my life.
It’s the only answer. I can’t stop writing. I can’t gain my weight back. And my house….oh, we can’t even go there.
Posted in diet
Tagged diet, exercise, OCD, Y
Back to my 50 pounds down. DANG! Why does it take two months to lose seven, two days to gain it and then another month to lose it again?
Interesting note and something I probably have said a million times before:
I started drinking 1-2 diet drinks a week again this last month and didn’t lose a single pound.
I quit this week and re-lost the five I’d gained.
A long time ago my doctor told me Diet Cokes were the worst thing I could drink. I should’ve listened to him then.
Diet sodas are out of my diet for good!
Austin’s calling. For the first time in five years, one of my kids is competing at state. It’s going to be interesting. 🙂
I’m going to pre-plan the trip and the food because this weekend, although a ton of fun, was HORRENDOUS on the calorie counting. I ate and ate and ate. I ran too, but sill, all that food was uncool. It started with the idea that chocolate fixes everything. It’s a motto I live by, but I’m not usually surrounded by quite so much of the stuff.
Cool: I tried on size 12 Gap jeans. Now, I don’t begin to fit in them. They’re probably 10 pounds away at least. BUT, I was able to put them on. I haven’t been able to put on a size twelve in 15 years. That’s pretty amazing.
About as amazing as how many people say I can stop losing weight now. My goal is 30 more pounds. I figure I’ll be around a size 10. The idea of a size 10 makes me one happy camper.
I just want my BMI to read normal. RIght now it’s overweight. That’s GREAT since it started out at obese, but still!
I did my part today to defeat my chocoholic tendencies. Actually, I was a lazy bum most of the day. I was tired and cranky and determined to get my sleep in, and since I was cranky, DH didn’t bug me. 🙂
BUT tonight I ran for 45 minutes. It was glorious. I’ve never really gone running before. In fact, anytime my friends went running and asked me to tag along, I laughed. I tend to fall a lot. Walking and talking at the same time is a sure fire way for me to end up on my butt. But walking tonight wasn’t going to cut it. I just can’t build up the great cardio power or sweat by walking. So I decided to run. It was hard at first, but it got easier over time. It’s definitely addictive. I like the elliptical better, but running will work in a fix.
And the collest thing about running: It sort of frees the brain. I was running, thinking about how strange it was that I was running and suddenly everything was just a little bit brighter, a little bit cooler. I was able to think about what just might be my new favorite book of all time: The Secret Life of Bees. The book is just amazing. It does with language and story and emotion what I hope to one day do. WOW! It’s awesome beyond belief.
On the News: I just heard one of my former students was picked up in the NFL draft. This kid was the most incredible student. He was determined like no other. I’ll never forget sitting in a meeting with him, his mother, his counselor and another counselor. They (the counselors) were trying to talk him out of taking Latin. They told him it was too hard. That he’d run the risk of failing and if he failed, he wouldn’t play football. I was stunned! Most kids would’ve changed their schedule and gone on about their business. Not this kid. He looked at those counselors and politely informed them he was taking Latin and he was going to pass it. His mother told them he was taking Latin and that was that. The counselors weren’t happy, but they didn’t have a choice. They signed him up for Latin.
The thing is, this kid was supposed to be one of the “slow” learners. If red groups would’ve still been around, he would’ve been in the red group even though he didn’t belong there at all. I knew that from day one. The kid had a heart like I’ve never seen. He was a gentle giant who worked and worked and worked at his studies, determined to go to college and make something of himself. His counselors were angry that I talked to his mother before the conference and told her that in my opinion her son could succeed at anything he wanted to succeed at. Perseverance is 1000 times more important than intelligence. How many naturally smart people are sitting around talking about how smart they are but not doing much?
Anyway, turns out the kid wanted to take Latin because he’d heard it would help him on his SATs. He passed Latin. And he had the SAT’s to get into Baylor. And now he’s on to the NFL. That’s special.
I love my job. But sometimes public education drives me nuts. How many other kids have been pushed out of Latin? How many don’t have that strong mother who will sit across from the people who are supposed to be the professionals and tell them under no circumstances will their son be railroaded OUT of getting an education? How many others are told, take the easy way because it’s better for you?
It’s a scary thing to think about. Chances are the counselors have completely forgotten about that meeting over the kid’s schedule the spring between his sophomore and junior year in high school. I hope he hasn’t. And I hope he’ll share his story with others. He had a dream. The dream was a college education. Now he’s got that and the NFL. Wow.
Posted in adviser, education, school, teaching
Tagged academics, determination, diet, dream, education, exercise, State UIL, student achievement
After three weeks of no budging, the scale FINALLY moved down 3 pounds. Woo Hoo! I’ve lost 46 pounds. I have 35 to go. My students are so funny. They talk about WW like it’s a diet because so many people they know treat it like that, but not me. I hate diets. Low fat foods stink. I eat regular foods, just more fruits and veggies, and I work out. End of story. If I want a candy bar, by God, I’m having a candy bar. But I will make sure to add up the 6 points. Or how ever many. I just don’t eat that stuff every day. That’s the key.
At least that’s the key for me.
No more dieting. And remember: it’s not a race!
Late with this one. I’ve been on a major deadline so the hours at work have been LONG!
This week’s weigh in was sad. No loss, no gain.
At first I was good with it. Last week I had a huge loss and staying the same is to be expected. No prob.
Then for some reason today I had this strange feeling. suddenly i was looking at this as a race. I wanted to lose the weight NOW! And that feeling led to a nasty craving for massive sugar which led to me eating an oatmeal cream pie and 32 Pringles. Yes, I counted them so I could do the points! After that brief meltdown (I swear I inhaled the junk in less than two minutes and twelve seconds) I was better. I shrugged off the icky feeling, told myslef this was NOT a race, it was a lifetime. Then I went out to eat Mexican (my fave). And I ate responsibly all while having a blast with the best newspaper and yearbook staffs in the world. Afterwards I felt rejuvinated. Alive. DD and I Salsa danced in the parking lot. She kept saying , Thank God we’re not famous or our pictures would be in the tabloids tomorrow. (I didn’t say anything about my dream of being famous one day. She’s heard it her entire life. At that point we were penguin walking, so I figured that might be a discussion for another time)
Just got back from the hour-long workout at the Y. Much better. No problem.
It’s a journey, not a race. And if I have to penguin walk to get there, I will get there one day anyway.