Trying

I have to stop being angry all the time.

This just all feels so awful and it was avoidable. But here we are. And here I guess we’re going to stay until we get to the other side.

It’s terrifying to see the numbers explode. My Mom was in the hospital overnight. That’s terrifying because their county didn’t take this seriously until the last seven days and they’ve gone from no cases to 26 in less than a week. They have more cases per capita than my giant county.

I have to find a way to NOT think about this.

I’m reading A Court of Thorns and Roses. It’s amazing. But I bawled my eyes out when a fairy died because the main character said she didn’t want a fae to die alone so she stayed with him and held his hand and brushed his hair off his face and lied to offer him comfort in his last moments. And all I could think about was all the people dying from COVID in hospitals. Alone. Because to be be near anyone means they could die too.

It’s just all so awful.

I need to try harder to find a way to stop my mind thinking about this. This is not healthy.

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