Monthly Archives: March 2018

March For Our Lives

A first this week. A disturbing first.

I woke up terrified after a school shooting nightmare.

It feels stupid to even write those words. A nightmare. Big deal, MB. Not real. Deadline brain causing chaos. Do some meditation and let that nonsense go.

Except

It felt so real. And awful.

Again, nightmare. Not real. Ridiculous when seen in the shadows of the thousands of kids and teachers who haven’t had the luxury of waking up to escape that awful reality.

In the midst of my nightmare, I processed that for me it wasn’t real. I don’t understand the science of dreams, but I was able to tell myself to wake up so the nightmare would stop.

After, I lay there in my bed staring at the ceiling with that awful sense of dread coupled with the knowledge that it was all a dream so the emotions weren’t real.

But they are real.

They’re real because it seems like every day there’s a new story, a new horror, a new nightmare that won’t stop because as a nation we refuse to say enough.

But that’s changing.

I’m working today so I can’t join the March For Our Lives. But I’m there with the marchers. My voice is loud, my voice is clear.

We don’t want to take away the second amendment, but enough is enough.

It’s time for common sense gun regulation.

No more assault-style weapons owned by the general populace. We don’t need weapons of war in our gun safes because they’re fun to shoot. And you’re not going to take on the entire US military with your personal stash of guns and ammunition.

We need to end the days where an 18 year old can walk into a gun store and buy assault style weapons and hundreds of rounds of ammunition and then shoot people in a school, a church, a mall, a movie theater.

I’m not a gun expert, but I am a teacher, and enough is enough.

Today thousands will March For Our Lives.

It’s time.

Enough is enough.

Part the Waters

This time of year is almost always tough in the yearbook advising business. Adding the weight of more school shootings, an awful flu season, the Texas political situation and its impacts educators and their healthcare, and a plethora of life’s emotional dings has made the last six weeks so tough.

Seriously.

This week has pushed and pushed and finally I felt like breaking.

In that moment as I sat in my classroom during my conference looking at what all has to be done and trying to find a plan to make it happen, I looked up and said, Jesus Help.

When I spoke those words I felt so completely broken and yet so completely sure that whatever else happens, God’s got me and I’ve got Him.

Within a couple of hours several little things happened to help relieve some of my worry.

I believe in the miraculous power of God. I believe the biggest miracle of all is God’s unending grace. I believe God had a hand in showing me yet again that if I turn to Him in my always those break down moments don’t have to be so all encompassing.

Yesterday nothing huge changed in the day to day business of a stressful final deadline when deadlines have been a struggle all year. There was no physical “Part the Waters” moment. But that moment of prayer and the peace that came after…the psychological and emotional sense of peace and comfort…it was beautiful.

I’m sitting in my classroom now, and I know it’s going to be okay.

My prayer is this: Lord, help me to remember my why in the classroom instead of letting deadline become my focus. Help me to let go and let You, help me to rest assured in the knowledge that when things are overwhelming, I can turn to You, but I don’t have to wait until that moment. You are always even when I forget.

Opening lyrics to the song that I love so much: When I think I’m going under, part the waters, Lord

When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea

When I cry for help, oh, hear me, Lord

And hold out Your hand

Touch my life Still the raging storm in me