…and it sounds like maybe he’s saying one thing, but then again maybe it’s another. You know He’s talking, but the message doesn’t quite make it through. So then he has to make sure you get it loud and clear. That happened to us this week.
my dad repeated something our old college minister said. Sometimes you’re the only Jesus people ever see. And whatever you do, make sure you don’t get in the way of someone’s walk with God. Easy to say, imperative to do.
Pray for us as we walk through this time of change in our lives.
Last month I took a group of five of my best and brightest to San Antonio for a conference. All five are seniors. All five are in multiple AP classes. All five were in their rooms by 10 p.m. every night doing multiple hours of homework. When I said they were in too many APs, they all said they didn’t have a choice. They had to take that many APs to graduate in the top 10% and earn guaranteed admission to a Texas university.
I’m worried about where this push for academic overload is going to lead my kids. I don’t know how yearbook and newspaper can continue when I’m constantly fighting for kids. The ones I have are stretched too thin as it is.
It’s made for a worrisome year.
I know I need to give this to God, but man, it’s HARD to do that.
Okay. Vent over. Back to work.
Last night in small group God smacked me upside the head. Not sure that was the intent, but it happened. We’re doing the John Ortberg study: God is Closer Than You Think.
I’m having this tough year, not just at school but outside the classroom as well. Spiritually, physically, emotionally. It’s like I’m in battle. Nothing like when I broke my ankle where there was so much evidence of the issue. Nothing like when I had that newspaper year where the only person who wanted to work was the editor. It’s more a constant pinging. A constant Really? You’ve got to be kidding me! No freaking way kind of year.
Anyway, we’re sitting there watching and reading and it’s like God is yelling: Look at David. Look at Solomon. Look at Habakkuk. Look at Job. Look at Mary. Look at Paul.
You just THINK you’ve got it tough. They know tough. And what did they do? They turned to Me.They said I will praise your name on high. I will lift my voice to You. I will turn to YOU even when I feel alone, when I don’t feel Your presence. I will faithfully believe You hold me in Your hands because YOU are God and I am human and I can’t do this alone, but You’ve got this.
I started this year determined to embrace those words. And then all this stuff happened. Stuff that had me all confused and researching and asking questions and listening to sermons, not for their messages but for what I might or might not hear. I totally forgot the whole point of the Word.
At first I prayed. Then I prayed for me. Then I quit praying.
And in the last six weeks as I grew more and more frustrated, I didn’t turn to God, I turned to myself. BAD IDEA!
Last night, though, as we shared the verses found in the second chapter of the Ortberg study, I realized what I’d done. When we got in the car to leave I told Brian it was like God spoke in those moments. He said HAVE FAITH. I realized then that giving everything to Him is just that. EVERYTHING. I’ve got to give it to Him and trust Him and obey Him and believe He’s got this. It’s not a 50-50 split. It’s an all or nothing.
So here I am. Giving it ALL to God. My job, my writing, my health, the spiritual battle I’ve been dealing with, the ministry I’m involved with. ALL.
God help me to remember You’ve got this. You are in control. And even when it feels like I’m alone, I’m not. You are worthy. You are mighty. You are God.
Posted in adviser, College ministry, education, Family, newspaper, reading, school, teaching, writing, yearbook
Tagged church, college ministry, God, help, praise
I haven’t blogged in forever. No real reason why. Life’s in kind of a funk right now, watching too much TV (Once Upon a Time is fantabulous!), participating in NaNoWriMo. My kids this year are great. I’m going to miss them terribly. My friend across the hall at work turned in her resignation. I’m going to miss her, too. The ministry we’re involved in is changing-a good thing, but change is always rough. DD’s getting older.
I believe absolutely that God is in control, but this has been a tough few weeks!