Should Parents Be Feared?

Yesterday DD and I were out getting me registered for cake decorating classes and we started talking about cooking. Cooking is one of DD’s passions. Back when I was a young kid, it was one of mine, too. My parents gave me free range in the kitchen once I was around 12. I used the Betty Crocker Cookbook and made tons of stuff. Souffles, chiffons, packets, pies, cakes, egg dishes, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate anything. I was FEARLESS in the kitchen. I stayed that way through high school. Then…I didn’t cook during the college years. By the time I got married, I was a terrible cook. I think it’s fear that gets in my way because there are some dishes I can cook like nobody’s business, but those dishes are old time faves: enchiladas, lasagna, manicotti, German Chocolate cake, and cookies of all sorts.
Back to the whole fearless in the kitchen/free range thing. I was practically a baby and I was cooking like crazy, but I had to completely clean the kitchen when I was done. By completely, I mean COMPLETELY. If I didn’t, I might get one warning. If I still didn’t, my mom would pull all the dishes from the cabinets and make me wash them. At least it seemed like all of them. It was enough that I only made the mistake of ignoring her about it one time.
DD said she was so stubborn, she wouldn’t do it, and I said, no way was that even an option because Gommy (my mom) would have put me through a wall if I ignored her. DD could not believe it. She said that was abusive. Of course, she thought the whole pulling every dish from the cabinets to be cleaned thing was abusive, too.
Now, let’s be real, my mom would’ve never put me through a wall, but she would’ve walloped me and then some. When I got mouthy with my mom, I knew I was risking life and limb, and, even though that fear didn’t stop my mouth all the time, it certainly tempered it, and it helped me do what she said I had to do when it came to cleaning the kitchen.
I don’t think DD ever feared me. Not even a little. Instead, I worked for respect. Now that she’s 20, the mouth isn’t a problem, but, from the ages of 13-19, I sure wanted to put her through a wall sometimes for her words. And she still doesn’t clean the kitchen completely when she cooks, which drives me crazy.
By the time we were done talking, DD stood by her assertion that fearing your parents even a little is a bad thing. 10 years ago, I would’ve agreed with her. Now, I’m not sure.


One response to “Should Parents Be Feared?

  1. There were days in the newsroom that I feared for my life 😀

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