Free Will

We started a study two weeks ago in my small group that’s had me puzzled almost from the beginning.
The first question posed was is the supernatural real and do miracles take place today. The class debated whether simply waking up in the morning, seeing a beautiful sunrise, holding a newborn were all miracles or if it took something truly outside the realm of natural science for something to be a miracle.
No specific right answer was given, but the discussion was interesting.
Then this week we looked at Free Will and science and humanism.
It took me back to my childhood.
I grew up believing God put me on earth and served as a puppet master of sorts.
Yes, I had free will, but God controlled me and my decisions whether I realized it or not, so the free will was a trick played by God for my own good. AND if I dared to do anything wrong, if I sinned in any way, I was crossed out of the book of life. I can’t tell you how many times I woke in fear, knowing without a doubt that the rapture had taken place, Jesus had called His people home, and I’d been left behind. I was a sinner in the hands of an angry God. An 8-yr-old who’d strayed from His plan for my wicked life.

The debate/discussion this week was something along the lines of free will and our conscience is proof that God exists verses the idea that free will/ conscience is simply a scientifically explained reaction of neurons and brain impulses.
I don’t know what exactly we were supposed to take away from the discussion, but it left me frustrated. I don’t believe God and science need to be at odds with each other. I think they go hand in hand in a beautiful way. I believe in miracles and prayer and evolution. Natural selection is NOT a theory. I believe that we have an absolute duty to question those who speak from the pulpit because our ministers are people and people aren’t perfect and power corrupts if left unchecked. I don’t believe God controls my every move, but I do believe He is with me at all times.
I don’t know what to think of this study. DH and I discussed it on the way home, and the next day and the next. He thinks the whole point of the study is to help people realize God and science can and do co-exist. I hope he’s right.

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