You say you want it. That you’re not going to quit. No matter what, you’re going to sit there at the kitchen table or in the recliner, or at the desk, or in your cold room in that beat up old computer chair that doesn’t quite fit and you’re going to write and revise and revise and revise again.
You’re going to miss parties and drinks with friends and high school football EVEN though they say your team’s going to State this year. You spent years carrying those tattered manuscripts to gymnastics and soccer practice and dance class and now your daughter’s almost out of school and you’re still submitting to editors, still getting those same damn rejections. So how come? Why? Why skip the guitar great concert on PBS or tell your husband to go with his MOTHER to watch the stupid Cowboys at the sports bar tomorrow because you’ve got to work. An editor’s asked for this book and it’s got to be fixed, worked, perfected. Funny enough, you’ve said the words for enough years HE knows better than to attempt to change your mind. You wanna work with that red pen and pencil and those pages you insisted on printing for a third time, fine with him.
So again, WHY? Why do it? Why bother when it would be so easy to just close the computer, push the paper away, watch the DVR’d Gilmore Girls, Buffys, Grey’s and NYPD Blues. WHY when the characters are driving you insane or the story doesn’t make sense or you’re just plain worn out after one heck of a crappy day at work?
Why do it? It’s not like writing romance is a life and death thing. No one’s forcing you to sit there bleeding on the page.
Funny the conversations I have with myself. 🙂 Funnier still the answers.
You do it because you have to. Remember that time you quit writing for six months? The words were there inside your head, begging to be put down on paper but you tried to shut them up. Quitting’s not an option. Does determination mean an editor will one day read the stories and say, WOW! I’m buying this baby!? No. There are no guarantees. This isn’t graduate school or one of those jobs you loved so much before you became a teacher. Working hard, studying the craft, going to conferences, none of it means success. It’s kind of like those lessons you slave over trying to reach that unreachable kid because you just can’t give up on him. NO GUARANTEES. But you do it because you have to. Because it’s who you are and what you love and while YEAH, you’d love to get THE CALL, you love creating these people, these plots, these relationships. And if you’re never published, this wasn’t a waste of time, it’s who you are.
It makes you a better person and dreams are never wasted.
Now for me to remember this when I find myself in one of those writer funks!