If

If

•If I don’t do it, who will?

•If I put it off until tomorrow, is there a chance my tomorrow might become a week, a month, a year?

•If I struggle through the low points, will I be rewarded with high points?

•If I give up, will I wonder what might have been?

•If I believe in me, will others believe also OR if I believe in me, will it even matter what others believe?

•If I quit, will it matter? That’s an interesting question. One to really think about. How many people have wondered that very same thing and then somehow found the fortitude to keep on going, even through the low times?
Or how many have quit and just said enough is enough.
And aren’t both answers the right answer depending on who you are and your circumstances?
For me, quitting is not an option. I might be 90 and still collecting rejections, but I’ll be trying. At least I think I will. But there are no guarantees. I once read a multi-published author’s take on the road to publication. She said it’s not like school where you try and try and learn and learn and eventually make the A. With publication, you try and try again and you might make As all over the place but bomb with the editor you’ve sent to. So you send it again and again and you just keep writing and sending and sending and working your craft and hoping and praying that this is the one.
But still, there are no guarantees.
So without guarantees, what keeps me going?
I’m not sure.
I don’t believe storytellers are made. I think they’re born. Like the sages of old and the mythical storytellers of ancient times, my mind spits out stories the way a scientist’s mind spits out hypotheses.
Once I said I didn’t think I could quit, and I still believe that to be true. However, it would be easy to quit submitting. It’s expensive and aggravating. And rejections are no fun.
But if I were to give up submitting, I would be giving up the dream. And giving up the dream just isn’t something I can do.
So I’ll keep on writing and submitting and waiting for calls, requests, rejections.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Day 3 back on counting my Points. YAY! I already feel better.

MB’s Great Agent Search: Nothing good to report. The third rejection came in today. But amazingly enough, it still doesn’t hurt. I don’t know why. I guess because this whole SingleTitle idea is so new to me. I love the book. And the next one is going to be awesome too. Hopefully I’ll find an agent because Idon’t think I can sell Women’s Fiction without one. I’m going to start entering it in contests soon. One of CPs said this book reminds her of LaVyrle Spencer. That kind of freaked me out. In a good way. A very good way. But WOW.
I think of the story as Sisters (that awesome TV show that was on NBC) meets the Prodigal story meets the story of Mary Magdalene meets Hope Floats. The romance is more Hope Floats. The base story is Prodigal. The sisters’ relationship is Sisters. And one of the main characters is very much Mary Magdalene.
It’s been a challenge to write, but it’s touched me in ways I never expected. I love that about this story. I’ve grown. I know I’ve got to go back and really beef up the emotional angles in the middle because I wimped out after five days of writing and crying, but it’s there and I know where it’s going. I’ll be done by this weekend and then I’m going back through to make it better. And when I’m done it will be the best book I’ve ever written. I think it already is. 🙂

I’m reading two books right now. Jill Shalvis’s Seeing Red is great so far. The beginning grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.I can’t wait to see what happens.
And while I work out I’ve got Reading Lolita in Tehran. It’s an amazing read. Definitely something that will be on my bookshelf at school. I like that I can read it a little at a time instead of all at once. Usually I’m obsessive about finishing a book, but not this one. Don’t know why. It’s something I’ll talk about with the students who show up for the before school writing lab I’m going to offer next school year. At least I hope I can offer it. I don’t think my principal will say no. 🙂

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