Drive

What is it that keeps me sending out query after query, partial after partial, full after full and even revision after revision?
What keeps me sitting at a computer working on a story, creating people, hoping they’re real enough?
I don’t exactly know the answer to those questions. It’d be easy enough to stop. I could read the hours away instead of write them away.
But I can’t. There’s this burning need to share my stories with others. And maybe there’s a desire to see the dream realized. I just can’t stop. Even when I take breaks from writing, stories spring to life in my mind. I read a newspaper and start thinking what if….Or I read a book and fall so in love with the words I can’t stand it and I HAVE to get my own words out on paper.
You’d think this drive to be published would wither over time. That rejections would add up until finally I quit torturing myself. 🙂
But that’s not the case. I keep writing new books, hopefully learning from the old ones. And the rejections just make me more determined.
I guess if I hated creating stories, playing God in a way, I could give up easily. But I don’t hate it. I love it. I love it the way I loved Barbies and paper dolls as a kid. I crave it the way I craved an Easy Bake oven. I never got the oven. I hope I get the book on a shelf with my name on the spine. It’s not guaranteed I will. But I’m not going to stop. Not anytime soon anyway.

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