Daily Archives: April 27, 2005

Drive

What is it that keeps me sending out query after query, partial after partial, full after full and even revision after revision?
What keeps me sitting at a computer working on a story, creating people, hoping they’re real enough?
I don’t exactly know the answer to those questions. It’d be easy enough to stop. I could read the hours away instead of write them away.
But I can’t. There’s this burning need to share my stories with others. And maybe there’s a desire to see the dream realized. I just can’t stop. Even when I take breaks from writing, stories spring to life in my mind. I read a newspaper and start thinking what if….Or I read a book and fall so in love with the words I can’t stand it and I HAVE to get my own words out on paper.
You’d think this drive to be published would wither over time. That rejections would add up until finally I quit torturing myself. 🙂
But that’s not the case. I keep writing new books, hopefully learning from the old ones. And the rejections just make me more determined.
I guess if I hated creating stories, playing God in a way, I could give up easily. But I don’t hate it. I love it. I love it the way I loved Barbies and paper dolls as a kid. I crave it the way I craved an Easy Bake oven. I never got the oven. I hope I get the book on a shelf with my name on the spine. It’s not guaranteed I will. But I’m not going to stop. Not anytime soon anyway.