Daily Archives: April 5, 2005

Writing Fears and Lessons from God

Last summer I read Redeeming Love and I knew what was missing from a lot of the inspirational novels I read. THen this winter I read Yada Yada Prayer Group andI was so touched, so moved, so blessed. For months I’ve thought about inspirational. But I read the ought nots on the H/S boards about what’s allowed in inspirational and what’s not and I just didn’t feel like I could do it. Not and write a believable novel. Not and touch people. Share God’s love.
So I kept working on my other stuff, totally ignoring the idea that I could ever write a book like that.
And every week in my devotions or in church, I kept hearing God speak to me. And I kept ignoring Him. I’ve been doing that for years, so it wasn’t all that hard. Only this time it was. He just kept on.
And then yesterday I sat down and wrote a synopsis in less that an hour. A good synopsis. And the book is real. And the people are real. And there’s not only one romance, there are two, but they aren’t the total focus of the book. Instead, the lessons the women learn are. And above all I think it does show God’s love.
And now I’ve hit the scary part.
In theory, this is an awesome book. In theory it does what I believe it should do. But in practice, Oh MAN!!! Can I do it? I mean, can I make a difference in someone’s life the way Francine Rivers made a difference in mine last year? Or better, can God make a difference in someone’s life by using my book? And am I pondering this because it’s better than sitting down and writing something I’m so afraid of?
I guess I’m as guilty as Peter of not believing. This Sunday at church, that’s what we talked about. How Peter walked on water until he looked down and then he started sinking and Jesus asked why he didn’t believe and how that wasn’t about believing in God at all but about believing in yourself and how God’s dreams for us are bigger than any dreams we could ever have for ourselves. How we limit Him.
I’d never really thought about that story in those terms. And once I did, I realized I’m good at limiting God and myself. It’s definitely something I need to work on and pray about.
In the mean time, I’ve got a book to write. Yikes!

Weigh Down…or not

UGH! I didn’t update yesterday because I was too disgusted. I was up FIVE pounds last week.
Okay. Here’s the deal. It was a bad week. But not a five pound week. And yes, I had McDonald’s, but not 5 pounds of McDonald’s.
Actually I decided quite a few things went into this weigh in including water, a road trip, McDonalds and not being able to work out at the level I’m used to. It all boils down to not getting discouraged. My clothes are still looser. I fit in a SIZE 14 for the first time since I got married. Next week will be better. Way better.
Now about this week: My brother’s in town with his kids. They are awesome, but I’m not going to be able to work out all five work days. I’m on deadline at school, so there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Yesterday I slept over eight hours, so I didn’t get to work out in the morning, but I think that’s what I’m going to do, just for this week. I really HATE waking up early, but I’d hate gaining weight more.
So that’s that.