Monthly Archives: January 2005

Woo Hoo Weigh In

Another pound down. Yay!

Tomorrow’s

I finished reading an incredible book last night. I’d heard a lot about it, but I didn’t read it until I’d read the other books I wanted to read. And you know what? That worked out in the end because I needed to finish that book last night. The book: The Yada Yada Prayer Group. Why I needed it last night? I needed to be reminded: Let Go and Let God.
Sure does make life easier.
And now, referring to yesterday’s total ICK moments, I can say: No, you can’t have it all. But you can have peace about that if you want it.
Whew.

It was all a lie!

No you can not have it all.
And I’d like to say the lady who made me believe I could is a witch.
Seriously.
I’m a product of the 70s. My mom burned her bra. She brought home the bacon, fried it up in a pan and made my dad remember he was a man.
My entire life I’ve been taught the harder I work, the more I’ll accomplish. That my motivation will help others do their utmost best.
Right.
It’s all a lie.
I’m usually a happy-go-lucky type of person. I smile a lot. I find the lemonaid in my lemons. Life’s just better that way.
Well, I’m here to tell you. If you think you can be a woman and have IT all, you’d better pucker up because there ain’t no truth to that cliché.
Okay. That was a bit of comic relief, but the reality is I realized today I can’t have it all, and dammit, that hurts!
I thought I could. I kept working, kept revamping the schedules, planning the menus, working so that grocery day could be one time a week.
And guess what? It doesn’t matter. I guess it could matter if I moved grocery shopping to 2 a.m. Sunday mornings, but sleep is kind of essential.
Two years ago I led a panel of high school publication advisers on a “how to advise and have a life too.”
I was still living under the false assumption that was possible.
I don’t think it matters what the job is, I’ve just decided there’s no way to work full-time and do a good job, be a good mom, be a good wife and write everyday while I’m at it.
I finally broke tonight.
Will I be fixed tomorrow?
Maybe. But I won’t buy into the have IT all mentality.
Because I can’t have it all.
At least not every day.
Instead, I’ll settle for having some.
I’m not real sure how I’m going to balance the some, but I’ll figure it out.
I can’t stop writing. It’s a part of who I am. I won’t let mom and wife drop. And I just don’t think I can do a “sort of” job on advising. It’s too important to my kids and school to have good publications. I’ve obviously got some problems to work out.
When I’m done, maybe I’ll write a book and go on Oprah. It’ll be the kind of book she likes. No HEA. Just a woman who’s come to realize she’s human.

Isn’t it amazing

How one minute you can be so totally bumfuddled (I might have made up that word!) over something and the next it just oozes out of you.
My new chapter starts in a new location and the setting is everywhere. Not just the way it looks but everything. I guess all my studying setting today made its way into my subconscious. YAY!
I know what the next TP is. Now I get to get there.
I think this book is going to take place in two days.
I hadn’t planned on that, but everything has to happen fast or my poor heroine’s going to end up dead. 🙂
I know. I’m a sick, sick person for smiling,
Better go sleep so my brain works tomorrow.

RWA National Tapes

Listened to two classes on my iPod while I exercised. They were prefect. First I listened to an amazing Dare to Dream workshop. I don’t remember who gave the class, but she was incredible. She wrote for years, had lots of rejections and finally started getting a lot of interest when her husband was diagnosed with cancer. At times, I wanted to cry, but her message was so inspiring. Basically it’s the same thing I’ve heard a million times before. DOn’t Quit. Write big, dream big, goal set. It was great. Biggest thing she said: If you have a dream, and it’s really a dream, ask yourself what have I done to get there today. If the answer’s nothing, it’s not much of a dream. HOW TRUE! Obvious, sure. But overlooked often.
I have a dream of being a published author. I want to write romances for the masses. 🙂 That dream is possible. I just have to keep writing. She said Suzanne Brockmann set out to write ten books in one year. That she basically earned ten years of experience in that one year. WOW. I hadn’t thought of that at all. She also got me interested in entering contests again. I go back and forth on that, but contests are good for cold reads, and they get your work infront of an editor.

THEN I listened to a class on setting. I have some ideas now on how to work it into my story a little better than I have it now….which is a good thing since I’m logging off now and going to write. I have a dream and I’m going to do something about it.
Woo Hoo!

Weekly WW update

Woo Hoo! Down another pound for a total of 37. Even though I weighed in tonight, I lost. For some reason I gain weight as the day goes on. I’m so excited. Woo Hoo! Thank goodness I have new clothes. 🙂

Setting

I heard somebody say setting is the step child of category romance. I think I’ve got to agree. My CPs keep telling me they have no real sense of place in my current story. (The one I love) so I’m going through trying to fix that. I know I need to do something with the beginning, but just a little. Right now you know it’s in the south but it could be anywhere from Texas to Georgia. It’s small town Texas, so that’s easy enough to fix. I mean, I KNOW small town Texas. 🙂
I HATE fixing it though.
As I was revising part one tonight I realized how hard it is to do setting without intruding into the character’s POV. I mean, if a character is used to something, so much a part of it, he won’t realize the setting. So you have to give it in the opposing character’s viewpoint. But if it’s snappy dialogue or sexual tension, you don’t want to take away from that with a line of setting. It’s so HARD! I keep wondering how my favorite authors do it and make it absolutely seemless. There are no breaks. Just little descriptors that give the reader an anchor point. I want to be that kind of writer. BUT DANG, it’s hard!!!!
I still love my story. I still love my characters. They are so strong. But my CPs are right. Right now, there’s no real sense of place.
UGH!
I think that’s going to be something I fix on a full manuscript revision. I’ll decide before I sit down to write tomorrow night.
To fix the setting or keep writing. That is the question.
I’m heading into the middle, just dropped off the first major TP, and this is where I usually pick up steam. I don’t want to lose that sense of expectancy by going backwards, but I don’t want this bothering me for the next couple weeks either.
Sometimes I wonder if my writing process is the least bit normal!
UGH!

Shopping for shoes!

Clothes and shoes have never really been my thing. I mean I could probably be on What Not to Wear with no problem. When I read chick lit I feel like I’m studying a foreign species: all these girls who care about shoes and name brands and being the perfect size. It’s so not me!
But since I’ve been on the weight loss journey, my clothes finally hit the far too big to continue wearing point, so we hit the malls yesterday and WOO HOO!
The sales were great and I found the most comfortable CUTE outfits. Skirts and shirts and pants. I should’ve bought a jacket. 🙂 It was so much fun to try on things and look good! I even bought two pairs of heels. First heels I’ve bought in ages. But I can wear them without hurting again and they make the outfits even better.
It was WONDERFUL!

WONDERFUL!

It doesn’t matter how much I cry, I still think Steel Magnolias is the best movie ever made. I just finished watching it. Cried the last thirty minutes. It’s such a reaffirming movie. I love Shelby’s words to her mother. “I’d rather have three minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”
Talk about inspiration.

So Sad!

Being a journalism teacher has its ups. Today was a down. We watched the unfolding story of the girl in Tyler who was abducted after leaving her Wal-Mart job. SOOOOOO Sad! When they broke the news that the man who’d kidnapped her had been found shot, my students hoped the girl had shot him. Then they broke the news that they’d found her body. 😦 Very sad. We probably should have turned off the TV. Sometimes watching the live coverage isn’t the best way to teach news. But once the story broke we wanted to know what happened. Even though we knew it wasn’t going to end in happily ever after, we wanted to know. It’s a topic for discussion later. What is it that makes us keep watching even when the outcome is so bad? But it wasn’t a topic for discussion today.