Tag Archives: books

She was a racist, but she didn’t know it

 “Do you think he can read?”
She asked the question in all seriousness as she stood outside the door to my friend’s classroom.
The he in question was a star athlete.
She knew that.
She also knew what he looked like on the outside.
Black.
And in her mind, that meant uneducated.

This wasn’t the 1860s or even the 1960s.
It was the early 1990s and I’d started my teaching career in a district in the midst of political turmoil. I didn’t know it then, but within a handful of years we’d be facing a desegregation order courtesy of a federal judge.
It’s not that we were segregated, per se. Not Remember the Titans segregated, anyway. But my school was 90% white, and that was way off of the city’s demographics.
Welcome controlled choice. A process where students were able to choose the high school they attended, however, there were racial quotas.
The woman was visiting our school before choice went into effect, and her question was serious.
She didn’t understand why we were offended.

A handful of years later, I wrote Honor and Lies.

The woman stayed in my mind with every word I wrote.
As did some of the other conversations from my classroom.

“But, Miss, I’ve heard the stories. Lots of people were nice to their slaves. It wasn’t always a bad thing.”

Back then I was fearless in the classroom. I think I didn’t know any better. Instead of telling the kids how wrong they were, I’d ask questions and make them draw their own conclusions. I made them defend their statements. I made them debate with each other.

These kids were 16 and 17, and they were tackling huge, controversial issues, and I was encouraging them.

Often my kids explained the above sentiment this way:
“Slavery with a nice family was like being a teenager all the time. Your parents love you, and they take care of you. And you do your chores, and things work out okay.”

I don’t think my kids really believed this, but they wanted to make slavery okay. They didn’t want to face the ugliness of what slavery was. That slaves were owned. That freedom was impossible. Slaves could be, and often were, raped, sold or killed. They had no rights. They weren’t even considered whole people. It didn’t matter if owners were nice. They were owners.

By the end of class, the students realized this. They learned by reading Frederick Douglass and Mary Chesnut’s Civil War and other American Lit. stories from the time. And we talked about racism and hate and hate crime and stereotypes and tolerance and ignorance and stupidity. And when I told them about the lady asking if the student could read, they were as outraged as my friends and I were the day it happened.

Today, I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to teach English with such an in your face style. My classroom is filled with kids I know and kids who know me. Kids I spend YEARS with, not 180 days. Debating controversial subjects in the newsroom isn’t brave. It’s normal.

Honor and Lies wouldn’t have been possible without those early days. I wrote the novel when I was still that young teacher, still teaching English, angry that people in my community thought black meant you couldn’t read. Sissy and Savannah are products of that classroom. I hope you enjoy.

Honor and Lies coupon:  50% off for one month: coupon code is LH94Z; find the book here.

A Tribute: Miss Ella

50% off coupon for Honor and Lies and the link to buy the book at the bottom of this blog.

Miss Ella, one of the main secondary characters in Honor and Lies, is named after my grandma. If you’ve read my blog, you know Grandma will always be one of my heroes.

Re-posted. Originally posted March 15, 2008

After 84 years you have plenty of stories to tell.
 It’s hard to believe my grandma lived through the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl.

Grandma remembers living in Bristow, OK, in a nice house. And then she remembers the tent city in Maude.
 At six years old, she didn’t know how they lost the house, and no one ever told her. But she was old enough to remember moving to the tent city. 
They were lucky. They had two tents. One for the kids and one for Grandmother and Grandfather. Grandmother had worked as a nurse with the lady who had the big house in Maude, so they were lucky there, too. The big house lady let them set up their tents on top of the hill near the house. The rest of the tent city lived below in a valley of sorts. 
She remembers going to school with all the other tent city kids. Getting swatted with a big ruler the first day because she wouldn’t stop talking. Loving that teacher anyway because she opened the world and her imagination.
 She remembers Uncle Robison from Lawton bringing up a big bag of peas and eating peas and only peas for months because that’s all they had.
 She remembers the doctor operating on her baby brother, removing a cyst from his groin, on the big house lady’s kitchen table and not charging for the operation.
 She remembers the babies born in the tent city. No doctors. No hospitals. And one baby born way too early so everyone in the camp took turns rocking the baby up and down to keep its heart beating, trying with everything they had for hours and hours to keep the baby alive. And then when it died, she remembers her mother’s nervous breakdown. How she screamed and screamed and wouldn’t stop until they took her away for a while.

Grandma said she’s never seen another time like that.The way the earth baked under the hot sun and day after day after day the winds blew and clouds would build, teasing everyone with the possibility of rain, but then dissipate without offering relief.

It’s so strange to think she and Grandpa lived through that. That the stuff I think of as stories in a history book are their real memories. 
It makes me thankful for what I have. I can’t imagine existing for months on peas and only peas. Or living in a tent and being thankful because at least there were two and they were on top of the hill.

In Honor and Lies, Miss Ella is a touchstone character. In life, Mary Ella, Grandma, was a role model, a source of wisdom, a person who showed unconditional love. I miss her.

(I can imagine how excited my grandma was to go to school and how much she loved that teacher for opening the world to her. :-) I had my own set of teachers who did that. Teachers who helped me learn to read, and then gave me books so I’d continue. Teachers and professors who encouraged me to write. Shout out to Mrs. Tagy–1st grade, Mr. Novak–5th grade, Mrs. Burdette–6th grade, Mrs. Bo–Junior English, Mrs. Gillespie–Newspaper and Dr. Hoffman–all of college, especially grad school.)

Honor and Lies coupon:  50% off for one month: coupon code is LH94Z; find the book here.

Honor and Lies is out!

In 1999 I finished my MA with a creative thesis and promptly filed the book away as done when it garnered some positive feedback from editors but never made the cut.

Welcome to 2011 and Smashwords.

Actually, I started at Amazon and kindle, but after a GREAT experience with the print program became a nightmare trying to format for the kindle, I almost gave up. I’m techno savvy when it comes to design. This formatting stuff was driving me crazy.

Instead of giving up, I turned to the almighty google and found smashwords.

LIFE IS GOOD!

First, if you want to self pub, get the free copy of smashwords style guide. It’s a lifesaver! Some claim they can reformat a book in less than an hour. It took me six, but I bet it’ll go faster now. I’m a kinesthetic learner, so I learn by doing. It’s always taken me a little longer to get things done right the first time, but after that, I’m usually good.

Second, you can’t edit enough. I mean SERIOUSLY! But don’t edit immediately. Give your eyes time to rest and your brain time to forget the story.

I’m so excited Honor and Lies is up! Hope you enjoy!

check it out

A Different Opinion

Just finished a book everyone has been LOVING, and I’m disappointed. From the halfway point on the story was awesome. If I hadn’t read the author before, though, I would’ve quit reading way before I got to the half point. The book, imo, suffered from something several romance novels suffer from these days. No honest, authentic romantic development. I’m a romance reader. Watching a relationship develop from the moment of interest to something more is one of the reasons I enjoy romance so much. When the first show of interest is completely unbelievable, it stops me. Especially when the entire setup is such that the heroine in the story would never be attracted to the hero.
I think one of the reasons this bothered me so much was because the heroine in this story was bullied as a teenager by the hero. Bullied so much she’s still devastated by the events of her childhood even though it’s a decade later. In fact, she’s still bullied by the hero’s friends and family.
The original attraction was so contrived it really bothered me. It felt like the author was told, hey, by now there better be a kiss, and she put the scene there because it’s a romance, so a kiss was expected.
I almost quit reading the book right then.
I didn’t, and I’m glad because, like I said the second half of the book is great. The first half is solid, too, except for the romance.
One of the characters in the novel is made fun of because she’s smart. I get the impression the author might understand that kind of bullying. The main character is bullied just for existing. I don’t think the author has any reality check on that kind of emotional trauma. I was never bullied like that, but I have family members who were. I see students who are. It’s very, very real in my mind. Perhaps that’s why I was so turned off by the romantic attraction that came out of the blue in the novel.

Forgiveness

For the last several weeks college ministry has been using an amazing World Harvest curriculum to look at how when we grow in Christ, our awareness of what exactly it is He did for us on the cross grows at the same time as our awareness of our true selves. This week we talked about forgiveness, and how God gave us his forgiveness, but we sometimes have a problem accepting it.
Today, at small group, we studied an Andy Stanley message on forgiveness. It was powerful, and it presented the idea in a new light.
I know forgiveness is really about me. I know that holding on to resentments and angers and hurts holds me back. But Stanley says you should write down what it is you think you’re owed so you can get to the root of the anger. He stressed the anger, and that surprised me because I’ve always thought of it in terms of hurt.
But, he’s right. Ultimately the message is the same.
In the Old Testament, Abraham was on the verge of sacrificing his son for atonement. Thousands of years later God sacrificed His son to atone for my sins.
It’s amazing, really. And if I can’t forgive how can I expect to be forgiven?
Powerful lesson. One that led me to the realization that I have two characters in a book I’m revising that haven’t forgiven. They live in a world of anger and hurt and resentment, but not really. Because instead of facing their emotions, they’ve built these incredibly thick walls. By not facing the realities of the bad emotions, they’re missing the amazing blessing of the good emotions.
It was one of those a-ha moments.
I hope it helps my writing.

I submitted a partial to Love Inspired today. I enjoy the LI line, but this is something I’ve never seen there. It’s a Christian romance, though, so LI it is.There’s no taking the religion out of the book. The heroine’s life change is one of the driving forces of the story. Wish it well.

I’m also revising Prodigal. It made the agent rounds in the past, and I even got to the exclusive stage with one of the big agents out there, but it didn’t make the cut. I looking at it again, I see why (see a-ha moment above.).

I firmly believe God is in control. I don’t know if I would’ve seen the walls had I not been working so much with the college ministry, if I hadn’t spent hours listening to Frances Chan and Andy Stanley. Had we not been through the big, hurtful shakeup at the church.
Brian and I wouldn’t be involved in college ministry, something that has been life changing for us, had DD not gone to university in Huntsville. God is in control. And when we get off his path, He can even use our mistakes for His glory. Thank the Lord for that!

I’m going to hold fast to that knowledge as the cuts come down tomorrow. The news said up to 130 teachers and paraprofessionals will be cut this week. One of the teachers in my hall is moving to another campus next year because they’re letting a new teacher go. He got the news today. More teachers will get the news tomorrow. I’m praying for the teachers moving, for the ones losing their jobs, for the students, for everyone involved. Hopefully, I keep the knowledge that God’s in control forefront in my mind as the devastating effects of this budget cut become something more than rhetoric.

Back from TCEA conference. If you’re a teacher and you haven’t been, you are missing out. GO!
One of the best workshops I went to was Book Trailers For All. A librarian encourages other librarians and teachers to make book trailers to get students interested in reading. AMAZING stuff, and all done within copyright rules. She has the trailers separated by grade level, and LOTS of students are making their own trailers, too. Loved it. Here was my favorite:
https://www.4shared.com/embed/228516142/48bfe84c

Bordersblog

Way back when I first started buying romance (not reading, I’d been reading romance for years!) I bought my books from waldenbooks in the mall. I loved Julie gar wood and the booksellers would call me to let me know a new gar wood was out and they led me to johanna Lindsey and others because of my love for Garwood. I spent my paychecks at walden’s on a regular basis. Flash forward 20 years. Today I buy mostly e-books. I miss walden’s but I can’t stand shopping at the local big bookstore. They neve have what I want and e kids working there don’t know what they’re talking about. Today I discovered the best thing ever: bordersblog.com. Sue Grimshaw is just like the Walden’s booksellers from 20 years ago. She talks about books, there are lists of monthly releases. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this resource! Looking forward to a great year of reading!

Finding My Voice

Years ago, back when I first started writing, a bestselling author told me to look at my bookshelf and write what I like to read.
Problem: I like to read everything. My keeper shelf–back before I started reading eBooks–consisted of everything from Dostoevsky to Jane Austen to Jennifer Crusie & Susan Elizabeth Phillips to Margot Early & Julie Miller to John Grisham & James Patterson.
I’ve tried writing everything, but from the very beginning, dead people kept showing up.
So I write suspense. And I get requests. And I get rejections that say the book has too much romance, submit to the suspense line OR the book has too much suspense submit to the romance line. :-)
I guess the writer me isn’t quite sure what she’s writing.
WIth the last book, I wrote the first draft, used some plot tools after the fact, amped up conflict after the fact, used a plot board after the fact.
It made a difference. An agent read the story and said she wasn’t interested in category, so she wouldn’t represent the work, but she saw it as an Intrigue and felt it would sell and invited me to call if I wanted her to help me with the contract. I hope she’s right about Intrigue. :-)
She also invited me to submit anything longer. She liked my voice.
YAY. But I don’t have anything longer.
I’ve wanted to write for Harlequin for years, and that’s my goal.
Wish me luck!

The author’s promise

Ever since my vacation to Vegas where I was horribly upset when one of my favorite author’s killed off a main character in the last 40 pages (I think it was even later than that) of the book in a manner that didn’t seem to add ANYTHING to the story of friendship and family and love through the ages EXCEPT to reiterate the common knowledge that cancer kills (NO?! Really?!), I’ve thought about the author’s promise.
Does an author owe her reader something when she puts her name on a book once that name’s well associated with a certain kind of book?
I love Nora, but I’m not sure I would’ve been okay with that first JD Robb had it had Nora’s name on it.
When I read a Shelley Bradley, I’m expecting a hot (searing really) romance.
When I read Jennifer Crusie, I expect a snarky heroine, lots of laughs and an awesome plot.
Susan ELizabeth Phillips, amazing beyond belief characters.
Debby Macomber, precious heart felt stories.
Barbara Samuel, strong women who overcome obstacles to find their places in the world.
John Grisham, great plot legal thriller. When he wrote the Painted House book, I loved it, but I knew from the cover and from the cover quotes and back copy that I was getting something different. I could go on and on with this list.
The one exception is category, and there, I might get a different sub-genre, but I still get the author’s voice and the happy ending.
This book threw me for a huge loop because Kristin Hannah, an author I’ve loved ever since she moved into women’s fiction, let a character die. She didn’t just let it happen, she set the whole thing up to break the reader’s heart. I’ll never trust her again as an author, and I probably won’t read her again because I hate having to read the last page to find out if someone dies before I read the book.
I’m one person out of millions of her readers, so it doesn’t really matter.
But it does make me wonder about that contract thing and whether or not it exists. Obviously not. The book I read was one of her most successful.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

I’m on vacation in Vegas having a great time.
One of the reasons I’m having a great time is I brought a book by one of my favorite authors. BUT just as I got to the last forty pages of this awesome, amazing huge book that spans several decades, the author killed off one of the main characters. Totally threw her under the bus. For no purpose other than to make the reader cry. No lessons learned. When Luanne Rice killed off the heroine in CLoud Nine, I got it. AND she told me on page one that she was killing her off. This was different. This was stupid Nicholas Sparks Message in A Bottle or The Friday Night Knitting Club kind of killing off the person, only at least in Friday Night there was a greater purpose in the death.
You know, I guess she gets to be a “real” author now. I should’ve realized something was wrong when I saw the freaking cover quotes. It looked like I was getting ready to read an Oprah book. I should’ve known!
I wo’t be buying her books again. Grrrrr!